After years of anticipation, my racing career will kick off this coming weekend. Three years ago, I could have never guessed in my wildest dreams that I would progress from bagging groceries & not knowing what I want to do with the rest of my life to racing bicycles competitively in nationally sanctioned raced all throughout southern California with aspirations to become a registered nurse. I feel as though cycling has come into my life at the perfect time and I am truly thankful for everything I have learned and the maturing that has come with it. When speaking in the present time, I cannot imagine my day-to-day life being lived without something as organic, efficient, and productive as pedaling circles as a means to travel.
My current focus has to be the next up and coming races I have successfully registered for. This Sunday I am racing a criterium in Dominguez hills.
My closest friends have given me nothing but encouragement. Despite the rain expectancy, I feel that I have what it takes to satisfy my high expectations. In the back of my head, I know chances are very slim that I will win first place, but I will do my best to not let that thought get the best of me. As the days get closer to race day, (aside from the nervous feeling I cannot help but shake) I am finally acquiring the physical shape I had hoped for. With the exception of a new chain, my bike is as ready as it will ever be. My bike is currently being used as a hanger for my laundry, but believe me, it is ready to race.
It is only natural for someone to worry about all the things that can go wrong when speaking of any task. It is even easier to let those worries keep you from doing something you really wanted to do at one point in your life. I do not feel that there is a way to completely silence all of those feelings. Even if I had an option to do so; I wouldn’t. Worry is a healthy emotion in small, containable doses. I have learned that going forth with goals that are filled with worry are the most satisfying when completed. Giving to what you are afraid of results in the purest form of relief and happiness. I would like to end with a quote form a book that has made me really understand that ideology.
“Don’t do what you want. Do what you don’t want. Do what you’re trained not to want. Do the things that scare you the most.” -Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters, 1999