I feel a strong sense of apathy when faced with everyday tasks. I tell myself that “I know what I want & what I like”. the optimistic side of me sees it as me having refined tastes with relationships.
I can say with confidence that I have a strong group of friends that I can go to for the majority of my issues and inner-thoughts. There may not be many true friends I have, but I would prefer to have fewer friends than a lot of acquaintances. When deciding which people I surround myself with are friend material, I find my qualities are very narrow. I can see how people who are first getting to know me may see me as a jerk. I cannot go back to the ways I used to be when I was more empathetic towards how others felt about me.
I can only hope that through my blunt behavior, others can find the strength within themselves to be more genuine. After twenty-one years of living, I finally feel that I am finding my niche. The other day I realized that I meet very little to no qualities most women are seeking in their “Ideal man”. If I had heard this a few years ago, I would feel worried; now, I find this funny. I have no desire to meet those expectations. Being so far from the desired spectrum, I want to see how far from the norm I can sink. Ironically the further down I go, the happier I become. Maybe once I hit such a level of happiness, someone will see me for who I truly am and recognize. I love breaking social norms and will continue to do so to enlighten those around me.