It is Friday, it is early in the day for me, and I hope that by next week, I am able to include more photos in my post to give it some more depth. As much as I admire written (or in my instance, typed) word, picture on make the stories that much sweeter and more aesthetically pleasing.
The reason I am up so early is because I had a pretty bad dream last night. This struck me as really odd since that same night, I was out having a good time, riding bikes with good friends in the rain (it rained here in L.A. We did not let that slow us down; up, or downhill). My timeline in this is going to be a bit scattered, but believe me when I say, I can get us through this.
I summarized things pretty well in an email I wrote to a good friend of mine that went like this:
I was in a
large house with a lot of family friends of mine (including my mother)
and everyone had a very gloomy, sorrowful look on their face. Some
how, we had all received news that in a few years, on a specific date,
these telekinetic, psycho super beings were going to come to earth and
by this certain date they were going to kill us one by one. It was
shortly after I received the news that I had an experience with one.
It didn’t have a physical form, more of an aura, a very large,
unavoidable aura filled the room and everyone knew it was there. It
gradually came, and I felt like I couldn’t control my body, and that I
couldn’t breath and my lungs were going to explode. I was paralyzed
and being thrown around the room. I began to float, then I flew up to
the ceiling, then across the walls, then finally I was left floating
again. I did not die in the dream.
The scariest and saddest part of the dream, was that everyone had
accepted this news as fact, didn’t question it, and sort of gave up on
living life. No one killed themselves in the dream, but questions were
asked by one another like, “What are you going to do for the last 2-3
years of your life?” I remember being asked this, and responded by
saying that it isn’t even worth having kids anymore. To see so many of
my close friends give up hope on living and lose all faith in the
human race was very chilling. I remember talking to my mom in the
dream, and asking her what she felt about it. She had accepted her
fate in a most peculiar way, the kind of faith acceptance that radical
religious followers have. That really shocked me. I remember her
saying something along the lines of, “If it’s time to go, let it
happen.” It reminded me of the brainwashed people in the book 1984,
that had all of their faith in “Big brother” although something in the
air felt like it was a hoax and that there was more to life than
accepting a faith you didn’t believe in.
So that about sums up last nights dream for me. I really hope I never
hear something like that in the news.
I hope that it is understandable that I can no longer go back to sleep for the rest of the night. I immediately woke up, took notes, and let those around me hear the news. So instead of being all over the place with my timeline, lets try and work backwards.
Last night’s ride was a lot of fun. We have been trying to push for a more punctual ride time, and have been successful these passed few weeks. That being said, as mentioned before, there was a bit of rain encountered on our side of town. I loved how everyone had the mutual feeling that could be phrased like, “Well, it’s already raining, lets get this show on the road.” We all rode well, and no one got hurt given the wet & slippery pavement.
This was last night’s route http://app.strava.com/rides/13251796
I have to say that in the recent weeks, although I have been spending a lot more time with friends, I feel as though I need to control watch the things I say, and try and filter my thoughts and opinions a little better. Whenever I hear friends asking to change routes to end up shorter, and to bars, I get a little upset. I feel like they are trying to spread their weakness to others who don’t necessarily want to be persuaded that way. So when this happens, I make harsh jokes and bust their chops for trying to change our rides in such a way. Last night, our good friend Mike Kim was unable to attend and never let us know the reason he did not show up (not until later that night) Given that we had received no direct word from him, we presumed that he decided to sit this one out. So, jokes naturally arose, and mean things were said. Later that night I got word from Mike saying that he was in the hospital and that he had been throwing up pretty violently (that and some pretty nasty responses to the jokes we had all made). I will admit that I am a ________ (fill in your own negative term) for making jokes about others, and being inconsiderate about my friends’ feelings. I deserve to hear all of the negative responses for that. I can take full responsibility for that. However, with the way the information was presented to me, can you blame me for drawing that conclusion? I love Mike. He is a very strong human being who, on the inside, is a loving teddy bear. I really wish for him to get well soon.
Wednesday night, I made the decision, (as silly as it may sound) to drink too much. There was a local track race at this local velodrome that was three miles from my house. It is the very few events where:
- All of my friends are gathered in one place
- They are >5 miles from my house
Given the proximity, I concluded that it was worth it for me to let myself go a bit, and revisit that state-of-mind. So, long story short (this would be more detailed with photos) the race was very enjoyable & entertaining, I accomplished my goal of drinking too much, I didn’t do anything too obnoxious (I know I’ve had too much to drink when I lose the ability to speak), just got quiet and enjoyed the company of friends, made it back home fine, and had a pretty bad headache Thursday morning.
That just about recaps my Wednesday and Thursday. Today, I have a dentist appointment (no severe work being done) I have to pick up some groceries I left at the store, drive my friend to the airport, and I’ve decided to attend one of these street races in downtown Los Angeles.
“Stay busy, keep moving, you’ll feel better when it’s all over”