I feel that I have reached a point in my life in which I need to take the next big step and make some changes. As I sit here in my bed, hungover from a 1 year work anniversary, listening to a washed-up Lynyrd Skynyrd album (& wondering how ugly the artist name is spelled) I have been thinking a lot about what the Mrs. told me the other day.
She said something along the lines of if I want to plan a future with her in it, I need to take care of myself, take care of her, then consider taking care of our future children. This really sank deep within me. It made me realize that I have been at a plateau in my life, and have been pretty comfortable where I am at right now. Feeling comfortable is nothing to be afraid of. I long to be at a point in my life where I am working at a career & enjoy doing, for a noble cause, and coming home to my own home to a family & a hot meal ready and waiting for me. I’m getting choked up just thinking about the future that awaits & the happiness it will bring.
The more and more I think about that, the more and more I think about how I can make this a reality. I feel that I am ready to make the big move out of my house & fly the parental coop into my own place. I am certain that if I take that next big step & place myself in a new setting, I will do whatever it takes to stay where I am at & make the best of things. I have proved to myself that I have what it takes to make things happen. I need a setting change to keep moving in a positive direction, otherwise I’ll stay here with my father, spending all my money on bike stuff & not saving real money to better myself.
I want to move out, I want to have my own appliances, I want to become more self-reliant & independent. I am tired of being in credit card debt & spreading myself thin for my own habits. It’s embarrassing to be tight with money & not being able to do what you really want. I’ve had my share of fun with friends & see myself doing this in the future, but I need to take a break from blowing all of my money on things like this right now. I want something to be truly proud of, that isn’t just on two wheels that I ride everywhere nearly every day of the week. I still love the same things, I just feel that there is a priority change going on right now.
I will do everything in my power to better myself for the future. I want to plan for a better tomorrow, as cliche as it may sound. I would not mind living a simpler life of brown-bagging my lunches & staying in more often for the time being in an act to one day have things for myself & those who I love.
I have to thank the Mrs. for really opening my eyes to this situation. I feel that I was beginning to head towards a downward path that one day might be irreversible to change. She has put up with all of my immature moments & still sees a future with me after four years. I love her & my close friends who have been there for me all this time. I feel that I have surrounded myself with a good group of people who will keep me on the right track.
I have a few bicy-errands to run, then I am staying home & preparing for the work week & first week of school to come. That, & recovering from this nasty headache from a late night of drinks with good friends who I have spent a lot of time together. Recovery starts… now.