The Comfort of a Mother

I got to see my mother today. I haven’t taken the time out of my busy days to paying her a visit in a while. We made last-minute plans that turned out successful. Today felt kind of special because we had real catching up to do. We went to coffee (the Refinery in Santa Monica), then lunch (Leafy Greens) & had a long conversation about what we’ve been up to in our lives. Most of it involves the same ritualistic habits we grew up practicing, but we discussed our thoughts for the near future and found some new, but common ground.

I let her know most of my Anthro-pastime thoughts & how I long to travel. She too told me that she wanted to see the world because she never got the chance to (or rather, she never put effort into making it a priority.) This made me think that both of our desires seemed to stem as a result of being with my father. In the back of my head, I felt that my dad would have very different opinions on all the subjects we continued to discuss. Both my mom and I wish to break from our comfort-zones and live a little. This was a really assuring feeling hearing how we both wanted to change the way we were living our lives. Another thing stood out to me throughout our day which seemed like an obvious conclusion to come to the more I thought about it.

I’ve met a lot of new people in the past two years. I have learned a tremendous amount from these friends through talking about how we lived our lives. Having actively taken part in contributing my fair share of abstract thoughts, hopes, and dreams, I found myself having to further elaborate to get my point across. This only seems natural when discussing new & unfamiliar ground with others. I am now used to having to be able to further discuss a topic, or my opinion to most friends. Close friends require less explanation than new friends. Although it has been about a month since we have seen each other, I did not have to elaborate a single time during our outing. I felt so… relaxed by not having to explain myself over and over. I originally thought that my train of thought was pretty predictable, but the past has proven that false. It was then that I began to ask, how is she able to connect with me on such a cerebral, philosophical level? Oh, right, she is my mother.

So we concluded our day by shopping around the promenade, discussing our plans for the holidays and when we will see each other next. This sense of connectivity makes me wonder why I didn’t put more effort into seeing her sooner?

The little voice inside my head: “Because you didn’t think she understands you. Because she wasn’t ready to discuss things like that.”

I am now more motivated to keep in touch, and not be afraid to discuss things with my mother. We had a real bonding moment. One that felt really familiar to those in my childhood. I really miss those times but try not to get too caught up in the past and things I cannot change. As I end this, I am reminded of a phrase that I have been told very often, and am just now beginning to grasp, “Call your mother!”

-Dfj

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