My Shape Right Now

In my now bloated state, just as an alcoholic with a hangover decides that that drinking this much is not the best decision, I have come to realize that my eating habits have gotten a little out of hand. I am in no way, shape, or form what people call overweight. That being said I also am not what people refer to as anorexic. If I could gauge my weight, the term I would use right now would be, “above average.”

I am 5’8 and the last time I weighed myself before the batteries died (about 3-5 days ago) was around 146lbs. The fact that I have not replaced said batteries is my crutch of an excuse as to why I am not controlling my weight like I used to. That and I tell everyone it is still off-season for us cyclists so I can, “let it hang out” a little longer.

A healthy and portion-controlled diet can be a significant factor in performance. Although I do know this, I still continue to make bad decisions like eating big meals right before bed, bored eating, and accepting whatever offers come my way whether its sweets, or leftovers. People say if you want to change your diet, it is recommended that you keep a food journal and write not only the foods you eat and when you eat them, but how you feel before, during and after your course. I take mental notes of the foods I eat from time to time and I can say that the most fulfilling part next to the actual satiated state is the thought itself.

When I think about eating ice cream before bed, a mood of happiness comes over me, but is then immediately countered by the realization that I am eating large servings of sweets late at night and I will be going to bed right afterwards. Right after this counter takes its course, the meal experience is less satisfying. I still taste the same tastes, but mentally I know that I could have done something better.

With the upcoming racing season set to start around late January, I need to drop some weight and take the final preparation step in training to win races. I am heavier and have not felt like this in a very long time. I become lethargic around the middle of the day, and haven’t bought new batteries for my scale due to a growing amount of guilt that is beginning to snowball.

My goal will be to lose ten pounds and see how I feel. I know I have done my share of training and hope that I can keep my level of fitness along with my strength weighing ten pounds less. I have a strategy, and need to follow through with discipline.

I am not going to set an exact day as to when I begin this weight loss (or “fat loss”) since that will lead to an overwhelming sense of pressure and stress. I know I need to only eat when I am genuinely hungry and not so “meh” about how full I am. I can tolerate a little hunger, it keeps people on there toes. One of the biggest difficulties will be not to lose all of it in muscle. Attention must be paid to my hear rate to make sure I am at a fat burning rate and not an anaerobic state too long.

So go ahead, say what you will. Say I’m already too skinny, say I don’t need to lose weight and I am fine just the way I am now. Your kind words will be considered but ultimately ignored. I have set my mind towards losing this weight (and passing my finals) and depending on how I feel, I will either keep the weight off, or pick a new weight goal.



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