Tightrope Troubles

Part of maturing into adulthood is recognizing the past, present, and future “you’s.” Discovering where you came from, where you are now, and where your path in life is leading. Having lived in southern California all of my life, I have learned so much about myself, and my surroundings along with their history. I have gotten to know a lot of good and bad people in the process. At my age, the steps into establishing a educational foundation and stepping into a career shortly after school have been a very big priority for my peers and I. Right now, I am finishing up my time in community college and plan on transferring to a private university by next year. I am familiar with the workflow that the spring and fall semesters bring, and have gotten pretty comfortable with my current job. Sarah and I are making more effort on spending time together and we seem to be getting the hang of it too.

One could conclude that I am developing a good foundation on life with this series of repetitive events. I am now beginning to understand that life in this world requires a lot of repetition. One of the most common settings one can witness this is at work. I try and keep things fresh but end up falling victim to the very American “work to live” lifestyle. The time in between semesters seems like time partially wasted. I cannot shake the thought that I should be doing better things with my time than my normal routine. Perhaps it’s because my peers are wrapping up the educational step in their lives, and moving on to the career hunt. I enjoy staying busy with productive errands that help me get to this step at an accelerated pace. I long for the time in which I have only work, and my social life to worry about. This point in my life will remove a large mental weight from me. Until then, the idle times can never be appreciated with full force.

Going back to the topic of ritualistic habits, I find myself asking when that point in time comes when I need to only worry about work and my social life, will I remain esteemed in all of the time I will work? It’s thoughts like these that make me consider choosing professions we are not overly passionate about. For example, I love sharing my thoughts on blogs and social networks. I find it very rewarding and satisfying to expose your thoughts and opinions with those near and far to you. That being said, if I had to do this as a profession, I fear that performing the same tasks no matter how demanding it may be eventually sucks the fun out of it.

I once knew a guy who was on the basketball team in high school, but really had a desire for golf. I managed to play a few rounds of golf with him and saw how talented he was. I can remember asking him why he didn’t join the golf team instead of basketball. He told me that he didn’t want to do it because he enjoys golf so much that having to do for competition, or to even turn it into a career goal would make him not like playing as much. That really stuck with me, and I am turning more and more into a believer when it comes to doing things we enjoy.

Maybe we need to reserve our genuine passions for recreational purposes, and leave the secondary pleasures as the tasks we can see ourselves doing for extended amounts of time. When I was growing up, I never found anything that I felt I needed to do for the rest of my life. Some people have to be police officers, accountants, scientists, or directors. I am not one of these people. When I was figuring out what it was I wanted to do for work, I thought mainly of something I am willing and able to do that will not drive me mad with boredom. This (among a lot of other reasons) lead me toward the medical field. It is a noble job, not too physically demanding, that rewards their employees to live comfortable lifestyles. I am by no means head-over-heels for my future job, but more head-over-heels for the principal of having a career as a result from the years I have invested in school.

I still ask myself will I ever get bored even when I finally get a big-boy job. Friends have assured me that there will always be opportunities to keep things fresh and interesting, especially in a field like medicine. I hope for my own sanity that they are right. I see a lot of medical professionals who have become jaded and are not only unsatisfied with what it is they do, but have begun to decrease in performance after the years and are affecting patient care. It’s people like these that scare me into considering that I may end up like them. As of now, they are motivating me to not become that type of person. I want to do everything in my power to not end up the jaded employee. Not only in a work setting but in a social setting as well.

The thought of getting married and starting a family genuinely excites me. It is in this step that I am able to reflect in where I have come from, and what I have created as a result. However, I fear that I may or may not become that jaded husband who’s apathy grows day after day. I would be living a nightmare if I became jaded both inside and outside of work. Having realized the repetitions that come with getting our figurative feet off the ground, I begin to see certain circumstances that people along the jaded path. Being able to spot the potential problem areas is have the job of avoiding them altogether. It is how we handle the day-in day-out habits that come with existence that make us who we are. It is very easy to get wrapped up in these behaviors; I see it all the time at work. I just hope that spotting these potential problem areas will inspire and motivate me to avoid them, or at the very least, make the best out of the situation.

I have had both excited and nervous feelings stirring about for a long time now. All that’s left to be done is to expose myself to these scenarios and see how I handle it.

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