Over the passed months I have made some executive decisions in regards to what my future plans in life are. In preparation for the upcoming race season, I have slimmed down and plan to lose anywhere between ten to fifteen pounds before next year’s season starts. This has taught me a lot of lessons on diligence. You would be surprised how focused you can be when you’re hungry. I have adapted a routine and am counting the days until I have reached my target weight. I am noticing the benefits on the bike week by week. This makes the riding experience more enjoyable. To know that you are able to keep up with more elite riders can give someone peace and comfort on a day to day basis. With the calender year on it’s later half, there have been talks about selling and upgrading for next year. I have come to terms with this and am willing and able to follow through when the opportunity presents itself. I have spent a lot more time on the road than I feel like I have in years. It is because of this and the results I am starting to see, that my social life has taken a dip in a different direction.
In realizing what my potential can be, I have set my mind to becoming successful on the bike at some cost. Cycling is a part of my identity and there has been someone in my life who found it more difficult to accept me for who I am. This has lead to the executive decision to remain apart and begin our hiatus. This is not the sole reason for our separation, but it is because of this that I was unable to explain my feelings (part because of my insecurities.) Being unattached has opened my eyes and given me a breath of fresh air to who I am as a person and what I stand for. I am sad that it had to come down to a separation to reach this point, but we have grieved and grown from it.
Having finally vented all of these thoughts out, I find it easier to spot what it is I want, and what I do not want in my life. I have reached a new mature level of esteem and security within my being. At this point in my life I want to follow the nomad / hermit life and see where that leads me. I want to enjoy time to myself and have the liberty to come and go as I please. This feels the healthiest for me at my current point in time. I wish I had more to say but that about sums things up. If anything new comes up I will be glad to update. I think it’s time for a new photo.