Athlete Journal: Wait for Something to Happen

I know a handful of people who have chosen the entrepreneurial lifestyle is their career choice. I have the utmost respect for this brave decision. This involves a lot of hard work and hours of dedication. This can be overwhelming for most people, which would explain why this way of life is not suited for everyone (the same as an athletic lifestyle is for the general population.) I find myself getting caught up in a work ethic similar to this one. One that rewards idle behavior with guilt. These are the type of people who see staying at home for most of the day as a bad thing (especially at this age.) There seems to be a lack of balance as a result. Without over analyzing the situation, the point I am trying to make is that some people have their own way of getting by, and others may choose another path.

For example I am coming to terms with the path of an athlete. I tell most friends who don’t ride that cycling is more than just going fast for as long as possible. It’s more of a wait for something to happen (or not happen) approach. Yes there may be some down time in between training and racing. Time spent that doesn’t involve goals you set (and others may be confused by since you’re not dedicating every waking hour of every day to do the things you want to do.) For example, everyone that knows me knows how important cycling is to me. Those close to me know that work comes with opportunities for more free time than most gigs. Which results in people asking me why I tend to “take days off” and go without riding. Believe me, if I spent as much time on the bike as others do pursuing their dreams, I would make very few gains after a certain point. Part of the success of an athlete is balancing time on and off your craft. I find it counterproductive to take the work as much as possible approach to an athletic lifestyle that sees rest as important as time spent training.

When the time comes to put all of that hard work to use (race day) you bet the athlete will but every ounce of effort to do the best job possible in order to achieve success and greatness. In the mean time, a balance must be kept to maintain and progress with gains. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t bothered when I surround myself with those types of people that don’t understand (or attempt to understand) the athletic lifestyle. Not all methods are universal to achieve success.

The reason cycling has been on my mind more is due to a few reasons:

  1. Racing season is starting back up in the next few months
  2. I am mentally and physically prepared more than ever before
  3. I want to be great
  4. Work is becoming a bother

While the first three are exciting and feel great, the last reason seems to be on my mind the most since I deal with this on a more frequent basis.

To avoid the long and boring conversations of work talk, I’ll summarize by saying recent changes in work policies have thrown a curve ball at my current routine both inside and outside of work. I seem to be making more frequent mistakes and have not been riding as much as I’d like to. Part of me feels like I am mentally checking out and that a change is overdue. Another part of me is questioning what triggered this in the first place. I know I got a little more bitter after our most recent meeting, and I can sense that I am grumpier when it comes to work tasks in the late hours. This in combination with the isolation from upper management results in my imagination (and paranoia) making themselves more present in my day-to-day thoughts. I know more mistakes are coming up and I haven’t received any type of evaluation or counseling from my employer showing concerns for my well being. It’s as though someone has taken the hand of support from our (work and I’s) relationship and is letting the ship sink. This used to never get under my skin, but now that things have changed and my life outside of work has changed too, I’m becoming more imbalanced as a whole.

What seems to be getting to me the most is a lack of communication. I still don’t see myself pulling my hair out if I were to lose this gig. In all honesty I would feel more liberated than disappointed. When I used to work at a grocery store I would say that my current gig is the unpleasant foundation and that any other gig will be better than what I’m currently doing. A sort of variation of, “things can’t get much worse than they already are.”

Perhaps my mind seems to be paying more attention to the three above mentioned priorities that seem to be progressing in my life. Back at the grocery store I became more concerned with the EMT gig and I had been told that I’ve hit a plateau at work. There seems to be a familiar feeling of plateauing where I currently work. Things seem to be going well with the cycling. If I have to change job fields and take a turn in a different direction to further pursue a future in cycling, I am willing to take that step.

I tend to get bothered by work related issues I cannot comprehend. This leads to anger and apathy. The apathetic stage is approaching and although I’m a little nervous at what’s to come (mainly because I don’t have a backup plan at the moment) I know I can hustle when the time is right. Aha!

That was the main point of this entire post. While most of us have to hustle on a more frequent and consistent basis, I require more planning and precise timing when it’s time to hustle. I wouldn’t win a race if I exhausted myself right from the beginning. Good timing and perception are involved when it comes to making gains.

Maybe that’s why I have a hard time transitioning from one job to the next. Maybe that’s why it’s hard for me to break my routines. Maybe I’m just waiting for something to happen so I can react to it. Yeah. I can go with that. Makes me feel better inside.



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