A shift has taken place….
There was a point in time (very recently) when hearing the plans for the future of others, I would turn into a defensive and bitter mess. I have come to find that when comparing these respectable goals with my own less traditional goals of world domination through cycling, the question that would immediately come to mind is, “Why aren’t you (dfj) living your life that way?” It is hard to slow this momentum once things get rolling. If I let this go on for too long, my day could be ruined over the course of a hour. Alas, a developmental time has come and a new level of maturity and appreciation has shown itself.
Much like my synthetic empathy towards work, I find that letting go and not sweating the smaller things (and sometimes the bigger things) allows a weight to be lifted from the baggage I carry on a day to day basis. Listening to podcasts and storytelling through different mediums has helped me understand that there are many different paths people choose to live out their lives. Some people get married and have kids, some don’t. Some spend a long amount of time in school to achieve a job they think they want only to come at a strange crossroads in their life where they questions their existence and life decisions up to this point. Others (like myself) go with the flow and instead of forcing your way into something you think you want to do, take a more laid back approach and work with what presents itself to us (enter the bicycle.)
There is no denying the genuine happiness that comes from things we enjoy doing whether it be socializing, playing music, knitting, reading, or riding bikes. People see this and decide at some point the less traditional a lifestyle, the more confused that person has to be. I have mentioned it before several times, but the capitalistic rat-race of life is not for me. I have no issues with bowing out and eliminating myself from this specific competition. Perhaps its all in my head when I say that there are others that exist among us and feel obligated to point me in a more traditional path (enter those that break the rule of unsolicited advice. Each person is allowed to give three pieces of unsolicited advice, per lifetime.) At one point in time I find myself being more receptive to this and feel a sense of guilt for not having stayed in school, took my SAT’s, or applied to any universities. No longer do I feel shackled by this sense of guilt.
Just as an artist chooses to make a living out of creating and sharing music for others, an athlete chooses a more narrow and potentially riskier lifestyle choice that unless runs in our family, is not normally taught by conservative parents. (Enter the cause of months of indecisive, guilt filled drinking and confusion.) This is a skill we must learn either on our own, or from others who have lived such a life. Knowing there are others out there that have achieved some level of success keeps the guilt and confusion at bay. Sharing experiences and inner thoughts with people who are more established at their craft always sheds a little more light on a dim-lit path. And while it is subjective to say that the path of success through formal education has the brightest lighting, one can still find their way.
I would like to formally apologise to those who have seen this bitter and confused side of me. It is by no stretch of the imagination my best foot forward. Much like other twenty-somethings, the path we choose to walk for the rest of our lives requires an overwhelming consensus amongst the support we choose to seek from others, or from within. After listening to others choose to live an alternative, more artistic lifestyle, I find myself discovering a type of person that isn’t so foreign to my inner being. Thank you for putting up with me in my times of misunderstanding. I am unsure if I myself would be able to put up with the likes of me had I been in your shoes. Until next time….