This rest day cabin fever is setting in….
The good news is I no longer feel fatigued for more than the end of a three day training block. Starting a new week fresh and willing to exhaust myself only to rebuild into a stronger being.This past weekend was rough for me and as a result I’ve chosen to burn a day or two in bed for the sake of a better physical and mental state of mind in the long run. There is a fine line between what a healthy amount of rest is and what starts to become toxic.
I’m making the best of my time off the bike by attempting to be more engaging in hopes of a genuine human experience. This transition period is in full bloom. One of the indicators was a dream I had this afternoon. It took place in an unknown residential suburban neighborhood in the evening. I seemed to be gathering things for a group ride when I realized I forgot lights. I make an effort back to where I am currently residing to an open house with music playing (some type of hip hop. I’ve been listening to a lot of hip hop these days so that’s appropriate.) I’m followed by a young kid and his mother into the house. They seem to need to use the restroom and thought that if they follow me they’ll find it. I take the more inward path towards my room to a house with the bare-bones amenities (couches, tables, chairs.) Nothing of personal significance. No art, plants, or flare to it. I direct the family to the restroom when I hear a woman’s voice beginning to call attention to all those who are ready to ride. While she is making the opening announcements (discussing basic riding etiquette, route, etc) I become a little anxious as I am behind schedule. I become consumed in the fact that I clearly feel comfortable in this house as though I have lived there, but fail to see any familiar symbols or objects that personalize the setting.
I awoke shortly after this in a bit of an anxious rise. My interpretation of the dream has to due with a heavy focus towards moving. The house is empty because I am starting fresh. I plan on letting a lot of things go where I currently live to begin to acquire my own material goods. I recently started up my own phone account in which I transferred no previous photos from my older phone. In keeping the fresh start theme I saw this as an opportunity to format my computer, saving only essential programs and documents.
It’s hard not to become consumed in a transition when sitting at home, waiting for the month to end so you can start to pack up your things. I have put a hold on other plans of bike racing due to the move. Going from making weekly plans of racing all over the state, I’ve had to shift to planning events months at a time. While they are of a stronger significance, the frequency is messing my flow up.
Where, do you ask, does all of this slowly building stress, anticipation, and excitement come from? A big part of it comes from this book I keep mentioning. I’m half way through the read and have driven home the idea that organic experiences (not the self-satisfying ones) make for a healthier life and a path towards a happier and content state of mind. Instead of training and my diet as things I think of on an obsessive basis, I’ve adopted an awareness for more human interactions for self (and non-self) improvement.
Up until next month I’ve got a few new albums to keep me entertained, a new person in my life to talk to (and ride bikes with,) a clean computer and few cell phone to get this new ship prepped to set sail. Until next time….