Time to balance out the melancholy….
Since beginning the process of being more mindful about the psychoanalytical reasoning for certain habits I have, there has been a noticeable shift in my mood. After realizing that self-nurturing is a synthetic and less gratifying way at living, I’ve begun to open myself up more to others and things have begun to pay off tremendously. Keeping vulnerability in the back of my head on a frequent basis makes it easier to show a more personal side of myself to others. People subconsciously pick up on this and usually reciprocate (depending on who your friends are and how comfortable they are in their own skin.) The result is an organic relationship and a genuine appreciation for the highs and the lows.
These past few days I caught myself engaging in conversations with others more willingly. It’s not only to brag about my shift into emotional maturity, but to actively listen to what other have to say. The pendulum of exchanges in a conversation can be energizing, therapeutic, and enjoyable. It may take some time to get things moving along with taking a step back and realizing what others intentions are (this person is engaging me in a conversation, they must have something they want to share. They’re asking me how my day was, they clearly want to share something that has, or will be happening recently or upcoming.) The ebb and flow of human interaction has intensified now that the focus has been shifted from self-fulfilling to mutual gains. To enrich yourself and those around you is an empowering feeling that’s become addictive.
Music has boosted these mindful emotions a great deal. The beginning of the year musically started off a bit slow, then slowly progressed into a peak of fantastic content. I’ve been on a hip hop binge lately. Each New Music Monthly thus far has included one hip hop album that I have paid much more attention than in the past. I was convinced that the subject matter and delivery system of hip hop was too materialistic for my ears. With the discovery of such alternative acts such as, Busdriver, I have found a new niche that is pleasing on multiple levels. January it was the EP from Open Mike Eagle. Then in February I discovered Doomtree by way of the rap collective, Hellfyre Club. Doomtree shows that you do not need to be from an urban sprawl to be taken seriously as a rap group. Reigning from Minneapolis, they are able to still go hard when the occasion calls for it, while refraining from subjects of materialism and objectifying women in an all too familiar gesture. March has been the most promising of them all with the release of the groundbreaking album, To Pimp a Butterfly by Kendrick Lamar. I could devote an entire post to breaking down the dense talent the oozes, no, not oozes, radiates a significant intensity that upon immediate consumption shows it will stand the test of time. Not to get too philosophical, but music has contributed to the good mood I’m already in.
In summary, my source of gratification and emotional satiation has been shifted and has a healthier outcome on my psyche. I know there are both highs and lows that come with opening oneself up to the slings and arrows of blah blah blah blah, but once you’ve had that real experience, it becomes worth the effort and risk. Until next time….