Recent actions have lead me to come to several conclusions in a short amount of time. What appears as character traits are an attempt to justify flaws. I’m not proud of the way I behave in most settings. I can be stubborn and that affects others in ways that can be prevented. We all can improve our lives in our own personal ways every day. All it takes is for those things that need improvement to show themselves at the wrong place and time. Most of us can (and do) dwell on this for the majority of our lives. The ole vanity in the form of self doubt is a real thing. As much as we like to romanticize this, it is a crippling behavior.
Letting my mind wander gets me into trouble. Likewise, keeping things controlled to a certain degree has its own unique type of problems. Somewhere there is a balance between the two. Perhaps this imbalance is due to underlying factors I cannot identify. Maybe it’s seeking out these factors that will help balance the mental juggling act that is existence. The pieces seem to be within reach. I wish it didn’t take an embarrassing evening to come to such sobering thoughts. The point being, there is work to be done.
Until next time