Not a Praying Man

The setting is on the saddle. Road, dirt, the context is irrelevant. You have been trying to keep from riding the brakes through a technical descent but cannot seem to let it go. Arms are beginning to fatigue. Fear is reaching the point of saturation. To keep the wheels from squeaking and causing long-term damage, you decide that enough is enough. Letting go of the worry-grip you take a deep breath and begin to observe the immediate changes in scenery. As scary as things may seem, the reprieve from letting go helps keep the mood calm(er) and focused. You have successfully accepted your fate and am living in the moment.

I’m not a praying man. The concept of faith, much like nostalgia, leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Both lead to toxic behavior and I am unable to commit to blind leaps of assumption. However, the above mentioned scenario is the closest and current thing to faith I experience on a frequent basis. In some strange way, this checks out in my head. All of these comparisons to end with one more. This one ends on a positive note.

I imagine similar feelings might arise when it comes to courtship between to people. While in the middle of my “get your life together” year, I am now getting to the point where the worry grips have to come to a halt. The moment of clarity once you realize all is well and the initial fear was good in it’s initial phase, but it has expired and needs to be disposed. It may have taken some hurt feelings to get to this point, but hey, gotta take the good with the bad right? I think I’m getting the hang of this whole rolling with the punches stuff.

Anyway, all that to say I have a little more clarity (and an analogy to refer to when the going gets tough) and after twenty-six years of reflection, I am finally beginning to feel comfortable with this concept of….. educated foresight. Until next time.


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