First thoughts may include a hetero couple wearing matching outfits, laughing at a salad, out on the beach together, or some group activity in which they are smiling and appear to be happy. All fine and well examples. Instead of the Instagram worthy photos that we are striving for, I’d like to consider an alternative thought experiment when it comes to relationship goals. I personally feel that often times we don’t reflect on what it is we hope to gain from this choice. Might sound a bit selfish, but I think we can all agree one of the reasons we want to be with another person in an intimate way is because we want to feel a certain way that we are not able to do on our own. With that being said, lets expand on that and think about what behaviors we show when that special person comes into our lives.
I understand that this may be new for people and some might not know where to start. We might not see our intimate relationships as being as goal oriented as other avenues of life, (bikes, work, personal health) but it can clear up some confusion for why we behave in such a unique way.
If I personally had to boil down what some of my relationship goals were, it would look something like,
- To better understand and to be understood
- Continue to practice compromise without regressing into a previous state of being
- Improve esteem
A little broad and bland, but serve as a foundation for how I act when I am with someone.
To keep the open-ended theme going, lets ask ourselves, those whom have the privilege to be in an intimate relationship, what has the other person done that has made you better than you were before you were together? How have they impacted your life? Do you have any reservations? Is this person improving your life, or are you taking steps backwards? I believe that a deeper understanding of these topics will improve, or at least get you headed in the right direction to those beautiful Instagrams we all love to hate. Might even convince you that your in a toxic environment and a change of scenery might be the better option. That’s all for now. Until next time….